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When Kristen finally embraced a lesbian relationship, she felt
euphoric. But she also felt conflicted; she couldn't rationalize her
sexuality with her Christianity. Hurting and angry, she cried out to
God, "Can't I enjoy the same love as everyone else?"
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Many times I have heard homosexuality referred to as the “secret shame” and it’s true. As I walked through my life in the church, I truly believed that people would stop loving me if I told them about my secret struggle.
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Seven years ago I found myself on my knees, praying these words: “Dear Jesus, I love you, but I do not know what to do.” At that time I was involved in an intimate relationship with a woman, and I had to decide whether I would continue this relationship.
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When I was a young Christian beginning my journey out of lesbianism, a friend at
church gave me a small advertisement cut from a magazine for a ministry helping
people to overcome unwanted same-sex attractions. I was too terrified to call
the number. Would I be embarrassed, humiliated or, worst of all, rejected? ...
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Thirty-five years have passed
since Roe v. Wade. As the abortion
generation comes of age it’s startling to realize how much this debate has
influenced our definition of self with particular effect on those of us who
have struggled with same-sex attraction.
Culture ascribes value to life in terms of function. But we need to return to the narrow road
where worth is based on personhood.
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As a child I loved attending
church, singing in the choir and being part of my youth group. There were many
times in my family when chaos ruled and no one wanted to go to church; so I’d
hop on my bicycle and go alone. Both of my parents are good people, and are
believers....
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One of life’s greatest
challenges for me has been to be comfortable in my own feminine skin. I am
finding that many women, whether they have struggled with same-sex attraction
or not, have been frustrated with and had serious questions regarding what
being a “Woman” means. If you happen to struggle with lesbianism, please know
that you are not alone in dealing with the awkward, difficult, and often
distressing realities of being female…feminine.
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Growing up in a Chinese Buddhist family, Mabel didn't know how to
express the fact that she was struggling with same-sex attractions.
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Janet was one of seven children, many of whom had different fathers.
Throughout her life, she witnessed her mother being abused by men. To
avoid becoming a victim herself, she wrote off men and became something
of a bully herself. But living as a lesbian brought disappointment and
conviction. She wondered if she would ever have a fulfilling life.
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Brenna Kate struggled with lesbianism from early adolescence. A
friend threatened her with an eternity in hell if she didn't change,
and soon she felt hopeless as her prayers failed to defeat the
feelings. What would it take for her to trust God again?
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From early childhood, Melissa felt there was something very wrong
with her. Later, living as a very "butch" lesbian, she found acceptance
and affection, oddly enough, among senior citizens in a small church.
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Patty shares how she entered a lesbian lifestyle, and how the healing that came through a health crisis opened the way for her to return to God and find deliverance. |
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All her life, Roberta felt a strong desire for a woman's love.
Lesbianism seemed to let her experience the fulfillment she longed for.
How could God ask her to give it up?
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After her mother abandoned her, Sunny was consumed by romantic
desires for women. It infuriated her when Christian friends prayed and
pleaded that she would come back to God. Her mind began to change when
she was confronted with a very dangerous problem.
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As Linda medicated her pain through lesbian relationships, her life was
spiralling out of control. When her mother died, she could no longer
deny the overwhelming void in her heart. As God began to speak to that
need, Linda's lesbian friends couldn't understand why she wasn't at the
bars anymore.
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God stayed with Amy through many hardships, including a close
friend's suicide. But after she was raped, she didn't know how to heal
the pain any longer. After engaging in lesbianism, she wondered how she
had come this far from what she knew.
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Rebekah worked hard to portray herself as happy in her lesbian
lifestyle, but deep inside there was a pain she could never break free
of.
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Elaine hated being a girl all through childhood. Lesbianism seemed
to provide the answer she was looking for. But when she and her partner
accepted Jesus as their Savior, they were suddenly confronted with a
heartbreaking choice.
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The sexual abuse Christine experienced taught her that men were
dangerous creatures who victimized women. She didn't want to be looked
at like a "pretty girl," for fear of vulnerability, though in her heart
that's what she truly desired.
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Disillusioned by hateful Christians and abusive men, Amy quickly
rose to success as a feminist activist. Despite her accomplishments,
she often still felt like something was missing. She realized her heart
was crying out for God.
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