For those individuals or family members who struggle with same-sex attraction (SSA) issues, it becomes vital that s/he receive counseling assistance from someone who is experienced in specializing in this complex issue.  Research indicates that the number one harm to an ssa client occurs from getting counseling from a well-meaning therapist who does not truly understand (or have sufficient experience) in dealing with ssa issues. 

Exodus has already reviewed and approved professional counselors who are skilled and have lots of experience in providing ssa counseling.  All counselors hold at least a Masters degree in a counseling discipline, and are either licensed or certified in counseling.  And, you can be assured that all Exodus counselors believe that homosexual behavior being sinful – while not condemning someone over the existence of same-sex attractions.

The following are some guidelines in helping you find the right counselor for your needs:

First Choice.  Seek an Exodus- approved local counselor, then clicking onto your own state.  Advantages:  this professional counselor has already been screened and approved by Exodus; you may prefer a counseling setting that provides face-to-face interactions; and the counselor may be aware of other local resources.  Disadvantages:  there may not be an Exodus-approved counselor within driving distance, or you may not want to be seen at a counseling setting.

Second Choice.  If no Exodus counselor is within your local area, seek an Exodus-approved phone-counselor.  Advantages:  these professional counselors are accessible regardless of where you live; they are equipped and very comfortable in providing ongoing phone-therapy; and it may provide you more privacy, convenience, and safety.  Disadvantages:  some people prefer face-to-face interactions.

Third Choice.  If there is no Exodus-approved local counselor near you, and for your own reasons you believe you must have face-to-face interactions, then Exodus suggests as a final resort you consider any of the following three counseling organizations:

a. National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH), which can be contacted by calling 1-888-364-9325.  This organization has licensed counselors who are experienced in counseling on ssa issues, and provide office counseling.  Advantages:  these professional counselors are motivated and experienced in counseling on ssa issues.  Disadvantages:  This is a secular organization, and therefore it is quite possible that the counselor is not a Christian.  Additionally, there may not be a NARTH counselor located near you.

b. Focus on the Family (which can be contacted by calling 1-800-232-6459, then ask for their counseling department), and New Life Ministries (1-800- 639-5433).  Both of these international Christian organizations have licensed counselors who believe that homosexual behavior is sinful.  Advantages:  All of their counselors are licensed and are Christians, and you are quite likely to find one of their approved counselors within your local area.  Disadvantages:  While these counselors may be willing to take-on clients who have ssa issues, this is not their area of counseling specialty – and therefore they may lack experience in dealing with ssa issues.

Regardless of whether you seek an Exodus-approved local counselor or phone counselor, or need to settle for a counselor with NARTH, Focus on the Family, or New Life Ministries, here are some topics that you should assertively ask about in initially interviewing a counselor to see if s/he is the right fit for your specific needs:

Seek a counselor who is a Christian.  All professional counselors with Exodus, Focus on the Family, and New Life Ministries are Christian.  If contacting a NARTH counselor, simply ask that person directly whether s/he is a Christian.

It is often best for a male struggler to seek counseling with a male counselor, and a female struggler with a female counselor.

It is often best to receive counseling from a counselor who has actually experienced and worked-through her/his own same-sex attraction issues.  Simply ask the counselor directly whether s/he has dealt with ssa is her/his own life.

Seek a counselor with at least a Masters degree in counseling (Doctoral degree is even more trained), plus someone who is licensed in counseling (or at least is nationally certified in counseling).  All Exodus-approved local counselors and phone-counselors have at least a Masters degree, plus are either licensed or certified [note: you can find each Exodus counselor’s qualifications by going to that counselor’s Exodus website description, then clicking on “Counselor Service Available”].  If seeking a NARTH, Focus on the Family, or New Life Ministries counselor, be sure to find out this information by directly asking the counselor.

Seek a counselor who has already had significant amount of experience in working with ssa clients of your own gender and age [note: you can learn whether an Exodus counselor provides counseling for your gender and age by going to that counselor’s Exodus website description, then clicking on “Counselor Service Available”].  If seeking a NARTH, Focus on the Family, or New Life Ministries counselor, be sure to find out this information by directly asking the counselor.

Ask the counselor about her/his perspective on how much change is possible.  If your counselor glibly implies you can definitely eliminate all attractions to your same gender, or that you can definitely acquire heteroerotic attractions, then that counselor is too inexperienced and should not be hired.

Ask the counselor about her/his approach to helping you with your ssa issues.  Some counselors emphasize “reparative therapy”, some emphasize “inner healing”, other emphasize “sexual addiction recovery”, some emphasize “sanctification therapy”, etc.  Be sure to learn in advance what the counselor will most likely want to emphasize in her/his type of counseling.  If a counselor cannot clearly articulate that to you, then that counselor is too inexperienced and should not be hired.

Ask the counselor: what her/his fees are; how they are paid; whether s/he is willing to charge less fees if you simply cannot afford that rate; whether the counselor will work with your health insurance plan so that you would not have to pay as much “out-of-pocket” expenses; and whether there is a certain minimum number of sessions that are required.

Finding the right counselor for your unique needs is vital.  A little bit of investigation and assertive questions can go a long way toward helping your own healing!