by Chris Stump

Valentine's Day is swiftly approaching, and this day of romance and celebration reminds me of my singleness.  I used to be discouraged by singleness and yearned for someone I could be with.  Lately, I have been "on the prowl" for a girl to spend time, and possibly pursue a relationship, with.  While I am open to finding "the one", I don't want to miss out on what the Lord wants to do in the midst of my singleness.

God is calling me to a closer and more intimate walk with Him, preparing me for the time when He brings the right girl into my life to pursue.  Singleness can be discouraging at times and lonely, but I'm learning that it is a gift.  As Paul states in 1 Corinthians 7:7a, "Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me-a simpler life in many ways!"   Being single allows me to fully devote my self to Christ and allow Him to expose things in my heart.  With His help, I am able to find greater breakthrough and continue growing into the man of God He has called me to be. 

Am I called to singleness forever?  I don't think so.  As I walk through this time, I am excited and blessed. I know the Lord is preparing me spiritually and emotionally for the woman He has for me. Singleness is not a bad thing, nor does it define success or arrival to healing.  I used to believe that my healing from homosexuality was proven or rewarded by a relationship with a girl.  Now I know that healing isn't rewarded with or obtained through a relationship with a person of the opposite sex, but through a relationship with Jesus Christ. 

In my first relationship out of homosexuality, I rushed things just so that I could feel "normal", but I wasn't ready or prepared to do that.  Leaving that relationship, I realized that singleness is an important season of life to embrace and work through the areas the Lord gently exposes in our lives to truly prepare us for the right mate He has for us.  I had to work on issues contributing to my feelings of inadequacy before I was able to be at a place to fully give more of myself to another.  After spending further time focused on personal healing, I now feel more confident in moving forward into a relationship with a girl, when it's the right time to do so. 

The Lord continues to reveal new issues in my life that I need to work through that aren't specifically related to my struggles with same sex attractions. However, by walking out that process of healing, I've gained new tools, understanding, and strength to embrace my singleness, trusting that the Lord is preparing me for the incredible wife He has for me.  Singleness no longer has a dark aura surrounding it for me.  It also doesn't define my healing or growth. 

God knows where I am in life and what I need.  In this season of singleness, I am celebrating a deeper relationship with my Creator and continuing to work through some challenging areas, knowing that His Word promises in Romans 8:28, "for those who love God all things work togetherfor good, for those who are called according to his purpose." It's for my ultimate good!  My goal now is to pursue holiness and wholeness in the midst of my singleness, believing that the reward in that will be a healthier and happier marriage the way God beautifully purposed it to be.